actual love in fact… the secret behind Harry and Sandra Redknapp’s fifty one-year marriage by way of Elizabeth Day For You magazine posted: 19:03 EST, 5 January 2019 | up to date: 05:17 EST, 6 January 2019

They don’t battle, she forgives him everything (even for using over her foot) but doesn’t trust him with the washing-up. Elizabeth Day finds out why I’m a star winner Harry Redknapp and spouse Sandra are still completely devoted after five many years collectively i’m within the procedure of explaining contemporary courting to Harry and Sandra Redknapp. It’s a bit of of an uphill struggle, to be honest. the two of them had been collectively considering that they had been 17. They’re now seventy one and were married for fifty one years and after I ask them when their marriage ceremony anniversary is, they reply simultaneously, ‘thirtieth June’.

They met in a pre-digital period when flirtation wasn’t performed via text or Instagram direct messages. definitely, the only way Harry could get in touch with Sandra became to use the payphone at streetlevel outdoor his family unit’s council flat in Poplar, East London. Sandra’s household were a bit posher: they lived in Barking and had a phone of their own, except the road become shared with a further couple who lived over the road. ‘You’d decide on up to ring Sandra and there’d be someone else already on the mobile,’ Harry remembers, chuckling. Get your free astrology prediction – and much more! Astrodienst provides the world’s best astrology site.

Harry Redknapp and wife Sandra met in a pre-digital era when flirtation wasn’t carried out by the use of textual content or Instagram direct messages. in reality, the simplest approach Harry may get involved with Sandra was to make use of the payphone in the street backyard his family’s council flat in Poplar, East London

during Harry’s fresh effective stint in the Australian jungle for ITV’s I’m a celebrity…, our hearts were melted with the aid of the loving way the former football manager referred to his spouse

So have they heard of Tinder, the courting app the place intercourse-hungry millennials swipe right to denote their hobby in hooking up with strangers? ‘Tinder?’ says Harry, puzzlement creeping over his face. ‘It’s something you easy a fire with.’

What about Bumble? ‘Who?’ he replies. Sandra appears equally mystified.

Nor do they consider the thought of ‘ghosting’. Ghosting, I clarify, is if you happen to go on a date with someone and you consider you get on quite well with them, however then they under no circumstances text you or name you ever once again. ‘Oh,’ Sandra says. ‘I consider I saw somebody speaking about that on television the different day…’

It means that you certainly not have closure, I proceed. so you on no account get formally dumped, someone simply disappears. ‘You wish to understand why they didn’t such as you or why they’ve now not made an extra date?’ she asks sweetly. yes.

‘I don’t know,’ Harry says. ‘I’ve certainly not heard of all this.’

‘things they come up with,’ Sandra murmurs.

‘I simply thought you went and met someone and went to a dance or something,’ Harry says and despite the fact he isn’t visibly shaking his head, I feel the head-shaking is basically inside. ‘I dunno how americans meet now. It’s all changed.’

we’re in the expansive sitting room of their apartment in Sandbanks, Dorset. From the outdoor, I’d been surprised by way of their home, which is up to date and looks like a series of ever-reducing storage boxes positioned one on appropriate of the different, flanked via steel girders and ground-to-ceiling glass. I’d anticipated them to are living someplace more normal, in keeping with their a long time-lengthy love affair, all through which they’ve produced two handsome sons – Mark, forty eight, a property developer, and Jamie, 45, a footballer-grew to become-pundit – and seven grandchildren.

all through Harry’s fresh victorious stint within the Australian jungle for ITV’s I’m a celeb…, our hearts had been melted by means of the loving manner the previous soccer supervisor referred to his spouse. He spoke about Sandra because the most effective lady he desired to see in a bikini, about how he neglected her domestic-cooked jam roly-poly (made with suet) and about how she become ‘my life’. He concerned openly that he loved her ‘too much’. after they had been reunited on-screen, Harry was so jam-packed with emotion that he broke down in tears. in a single day, their marriage became the nation’s prevalent love story. ‘It changed into very emotional,’ Sandra says of the shock reunion. ‘but i tried to contain myself as a result of i thought, “we can’t have the pair of us blubbering.”’

Sandra is extravagantly appealing, but wears it calmly as if she doesn’t like to make a fuss

When Harry walks into the room his eyes go straight to Sandra, and it’s clear he nevertheless can’t reasonably agree with his good fortune

So, I ask, what’s the key to staying married for over 50 years? ‘I all the time say by no means go to mattress on an argument,’ Sandra replies

Anyway, Harry’s lower back at domestic now and is enjoying his creature comforts, although the Redknapps have had no sizzling water for six months as a result of a controversy involving flooding in the basement. Neither of them appears to intellect that a lot. essentially the most vital thing is being again collectively – Harry’s three-week stint within the jungle became the longest they’ve ever been aside. at all times he calls his wife several times a day.

apart from the flooding, the Redknapps’ home is impeccable: the flooring are parquet and the partitions are white. The kitchen is dominated by way of a free-standing island with bar stools alongside one facet and an enormous television it truly is beaming an oversized Piers Morgan into the room (Harry is happening ITV’s good Morning Britain the day after we meet). There are bulldog-formed trinkets and sculptures far and wide, and two real-lifestyles bulldogs scampering around my ankles. At one aspect the bigger dog, a substantial animal who looks as if he’d win a wrestling contest, launches himself at my skirt.

‘Barney, no!’ Sandra says, but she has such a delicate method that the command comes out as a form of praise and Barney can pay no heed. Sandra puts him on a lead. ‘That calms him down,’ she says apologetically and she or he potters across the kitchen with the lead looped elegantly round her wrist, the dog following obligingly as she places the kettle on and makes me a cup of tea.

Sandra and Harry with bulldogs Lulabelle (entrance) and Barney. clothing throughout: Sandra wears dresses, Isabell Kristensen. shoes, Christian Louboutin. Harry wears suit, Hugo Boss

Sandra is extravagantly alluring, but wears it lightly as if she doesn’t want to make a fuss. She is dressed like an off-duty mannequin: denims, roll-neck and leopard-print espadrilles. She has excessive cheekbones, almond eyes and hair dyed a rushing coloration of copper. When Harry walks into the room, in a navy fleece and chinos, his eyes go straight to Sandra, and it’s clear he nonetheless can’t rather consider his luck. ‘Jamie always says to me, “How did you pull her, Dad?”’ Harry grins.

In grownup, he’s smiley and welcoming. You get the impact he would check with anybody within the equal approach; the product most likely of a certain historical-college cockney attraction that translated so well on tv. He’s totally pleasant and comfy with himself – and the ease expands to whatever enterprise he’s in, no matter if that be a bunch of celebrities within the Australian jungle or a taxi driver deciding upon him up from Poole station.

We take our cups of tea round the corner to the lounge and sit on an L-formed couch upholstered in darkish blue velvet. The home windows miss out on a rollicking sea, waves buffeted by means of the wintry weather winds. Dotted around the room are framed photographs of Harry meeting quite a lot of sporting legends I don’t know.

‘who’re you with in this one?’ I ask.

‘That’s Pele,’ he says.

‘Oh… and that’s..?’

‘Tiger Woods,’ Harry replies helpfully.

Sandra’s dislike of fuss has meant that Harry’s newfound fame has come as whatever thing of a shock

Harry and Sandra married at Barking Abbey in 1967 (left); final month they had been triumphantly reunited after a 3-week separation whereas Harry took half in I’m a celebrity… (appropriate)

Harry and Sandra take a seat subsequent to each and every other, and Harry extends his arm along the lower back of the sofa, protectively framing his spouse’s shoulders. They fit so perfectly together that they finish each different’s sentences (neatly, to be extra correct, Sandra on the whole finishes Harry’s and infrequently appears at me with a smile of female harmony).

sometimes they effortlessly decide to echo what the different one has simply observed, as if to underline the depth of their compatibility. midway throughout the interview, their 19-12 months-ancient granddaughter Molly pops over (she lives local) and when we get chatting she admits that each she and her sister Emily ‘always say we want whatever like Nan and Granddad have because it’s been so wonderful turning out to be up and seeing how tons they love each and every other’.

Harry met Sandra at a dance in 1964 on the Two Puddings pub in Stratford, East London. He was a West Ham early life prospect at the time and arrived on the disco dressed in a made-to-measure swimsuit and winkle-pickers along with his crew-mate Colin Mackleworth. Sandra became a 17-12 months-old hairdresser, earning £1.50 a week doing perms and units. both their families worked predominantly on the docks, which is what Harry would have accomplished too if he hadn’t found out a skill for soccer.

at the Two Puddings, Harry concerned she’d be more drawn to his pal, who become deemed to be the handsome one, however on the end of the evening, Sandra gave Harry her mobile quantity. ‘I wrote it in crimson lipstick,’ she says.

‘You wrote it in crimson lipstick,’ he repeats, then recites the mobilephone quantity with the aid of heart. ‘01594 1254.’

Sandra turns to analyze him. ‘are you able to bear in mind what I had on?’

‘A pink costume?’

‘yes. A red shift costume. I suppose I got the premiere deal,’ Sandra says loyally. Colin, she provides, ‘has had three wives.’

‘He’s had three other halves,’ repeats Harry.

Harry went on to play soccer for Bournemouth before finally turning his hand to management and taking the appropriate job at golf equipment including Tottenham Hotspur, Queens Park Rangers and Portsmouth (twice). When he begun out, he became earning £7 a week as a West Ham junior. The couple’s first condominium charge £6,200. this present day, he says, ‘the common participant is earning absolute fortunes. The funds is loopy… soccer managers are incomes sort of £20 million a yr. I mean, it’s past belief, isn’t it, definitely?’

So, I ask, what’s the secret to staying married for over 50 years? ‘I all the time say in no way go to bed on an argument,’ Sandra replies. ‘And if you have had an argument, I at all times believe it’s no respectable rowing on the time. I simply leave it except the following day and inform Harry how he’s upset me or whatever thing. That’s my method of working it out. but we don’t truly argue.’

That’s now not to assert they are living in a state of constant bliss – Harry is pointless across the condo, and when he washes the cups, he leaves them to dry standing up, which ability the entire dishwater slides to the bottom, and that drives Sandra mad. however she appears to view it as a lovable quirk. ‘I’m somewhat placid,’ Sandra provides.

‘i do know individuals could believe it’s foolish, however I’ve only bought to examine Sandra and i couldn’t argue with her,’ says Harry. in their day, he provides, ‘you acquired married and unless some thing turned into enormously wrong, you stayed married’.

Their youngest son, Jamie, split up along with his wife Louise, who was once in the band everlasting, in 2017 after 19 years of marriage. i’m wondering whether Harry and Sandra’s dedicated relationship is a tough element for his or her toddlers to live as much as? the style they answer this query is not somewhat a facet-step, however not fairly an immediate response either. I get the affect they don’t need to upset an already febrile circumstance.

‘Your mum and dad had been the identical, weren’t they?’ Harry asks his spouse. ‘They were so dedicated it become unreal. And mine have been the equal.’

Sandra nods: ‘That became the norm I feel, those days… I believe it’s too effortless now to not make a marriage work.’

‘You’ve started working at it,’ Harry has the same opinion, then clarifies: ‘I suggest, we didn’t must work at it. We just form of fell in love and stayed that approach.’

I need to be like you, I say, the words slipping out of my mouth before i can stop them.

‘Oh pricey,’ Sandra giggles.

When Sandra says she’s ‘rather placid’ it’s an irony. a friend of hers recently gave her a T-shirt emblazoned with the phrase ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ and he or she thinks that’s pretty accurate as a result of ‘I’m not a wuss’. The best time she wells up throughout our conversation is once we focus on her loved more youthful sister Pat (mother to the footballer turned manager Frank Lampard Jr) who died in 2008 on the age of fifty eight, ten days after being admitted to clinic for extreme pneumonia. ‘She became my best friend,’ Sandra says, voice breaking.

‘The previous five years had been horrendous [for Sandra],’ Harry says. She had sepsis simply before he went into the jungle and for ages he wondered about cancelling the commute, however she recovered just in time and his grandchildren were begging him to move on the show, which was the cause he did it within the end. a few months earlier than that, Harry says, ‘She tripped over the hoover.’

‘Henry hoover,’ Sandra interjects.

‘The Henry hoover. Broke her kneecap. Ended up going to mattress that nighttime, crawled up the steps as a result of she didn’t wish to trouble any one. The next morning she’s in suffering.’ Harry was away in London and Sandra hadn’t wanted to worry him, so she’d simply taken a paracetamol and long gone to sleep.

‘How’d you get during the nighttime with a damaged kneecap?’ he asks, mystified. ‘then you definitely tripped over in Bournemouth and broke your ankle. I ran Sandra over [in 2016], which became the worst of all. That turned into horrendous. In Westbourne. She crossed the road and i went to pull away and that i noticed her going and he or she backed up towards my automobile.’

I dunno how americans meet now… We didn’t must work at it. We just fell in love and stayed that way
‘as a result of there was a bus coming,’ Sandra explains frivolously.

‘I didn’t note and she or he had one foot back… Anyway, my again wheel sliced her ankle in half just about. Sandra become the only 1 not panicking. every person around her turned into going, “Don’t look! I believe she’s lost a foot!” And Sandra became so calm it was unreal. She simply receives on with every little thing.’

‘I don’t want to agonize americans,’ she says.

Has she forgiven Harry for operating her over? She looks at him fondly and pats his leg with completely manicured bright pink nails. ‘sure, of route. I on no account even had a go at him as a result of I feel he suffered more than me. I may see his face and he felt so bad about what came about. For me to look him like that – it upset me.’

Her dislike of fuss has meant that Harry’s newfound repute has come as something of a shock. He’d been in the public eye for decades however profitable I’m a star… has catapulted him to a new degree of attention. On their approach again from Australia they stopped off for a couple of days’ holiday in Dubai and went for a meal at a steak restaurant. ‘It changed into full of English individuals having dinner,’ Harry recalls. ‘We went in there and the location went manic [with] americans arising to me. and she goes, “Hazzer, what have you completed to me?” She said, “I just want a quiet life.”’

‘I simply want a quiet life,’ Sandra has the same opinion.

possibly, in the end, it is this grounded outlook that has given the Redknapps such durability. They’ve generic each and every other for 54 years but they say neither of them has truly changed in that point, no longer within the ways in which count. They’ve obtained more cash now than that they had before and their lives have altered dramatically, however he’s nevertheless the teenager within the winkle-pickers soliciting for a dance with an attractive woman and being concerned she fancies his mate as a substitute, and she’s still the woman donning a shift costume who writes out her number in purple lipstick and hopes he’s going to call.

And right here’s the element: he always does.